I don’t do New Year’s resolutions. Not because I am too cool for them, but because, in my natural state, I just don’t get them done.
The resolution to not curse for a year? Gave up on that one in a week.
The resolution to work out and lose weight? Made it a whole month.
And then there is the resolution to keep my house clean. I went out and bought a store’s worth of cleaning products, organizational stuff, and spent several days working on my house. By spring, the house was back to its usual state, just barely contained clutter, and I was exhausted from working so hard just to remember to take the trash out. That was the year I gave up on resolutions.
But the idea of a theme for the year appeals to me. Something to overlay over the entire year, or a background against which my life will play out. There have been several themes; Newly Wed Meets Deployment, Motherhood Changes Everything, The Year of Grieving. And no matter what else happened, that theme touched on every single aspect of my life for that entire year, and sometimes beyond it.
So I have been trying to find this year’s theme. And I’m a little behind, it is the middle of February as I write this, not the first of the year. The first of the year I was in the final week of a long, eventful, stressful pregnancy, and busy preparing for my baby. After that, I was trying to recover from delivery, and get used to having two babies, instead of one.
But tonight, as I tucked Sprout into bed, this year’s theme hit me.
For the first time in a long time, this is the year we will have Hubs with us, all year long. There won’t be training missions and schooling, there isn’t a deployment looming ahead of us. There isn’t that much to stress over, we’ve transitioned out of the Army, Hubs has a stable job, we have a nice home, and the baby is here. There isn’t any more waiting on anything, orders to PCS, packers, movers, or a baby. We’ve finally pulled our life together.
So this year’s theme is Making Cupcakes. I am going to do my level best to have a cupcake moment every day. Tucking Sprout into bed, and smelling clean hair while we talk about our plans for tomorrow, waking up to a sunrise with Pudge, and watching the burst of color top the trees. A slushie and candy date night with Hubs. A family outing to somewhere new, breaking the rules and having ice cream before dinner. Late night popcorn and candy nights where we all fall asleep on the floor.
We spent so much of last year in a state of limbo, not knowing when or if the Army was going to let the Hubs out, if he stayed in where would we be moving to, if he got out where we would be moving to, what was going to happen and when. Before that, we spent so much of our time as family staring down a deployment to some war zone on the far side of the world. We haven’t had much time to be in the moment, to make that moment better. My awareness of how precious the good moments are comes from how few and far between they have been for us.
This is the first year we’ve had nothing but time stretching before us, nothing to do or not do, no one asking something or another, no packing or unpacking to do. Just us, with time for all the lopsided cupcakes in the world.